


Sleepy Confessions

by fanartfan



Category: The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Confused!Alec, M/M, insecure!magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 16:03:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10722597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanartfan/pseuds/fanartfan
Summary: Alec talks in his sleep.  Magnus thinks it's cute, until it's not.  What can Magnus do if Alec isn't happy anymore?Alec loves his life, but the stress is starting to get to him.  Can he plan a perfect moment for Magnus?





	1. A Rough Week

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic and I hope you like it. I'm challenging myself to write scenes based on songs (as they came on the radio the other day). So here is my Malec version of Pink's Just Give Me A Reason.
> 
> Also, I don't have anyone to beta, so please forgive any errors!

**Magnus POV**

Magnus normally loved that Alec mumbled in his sleep. It didn’t happen often, but the silly little phrases assured Magnus that Alec was comfortable enough, even in sleep, to relax in Magnus’ apartment and his bed. That hadn’t changed in the years that they had now been together.

But recently, it was really starting to get on his nerves…

The first time it happened, Alec had come home from a hunt after 2am, exhausted, covered in ichor and irritated beyond the norm. He barely acknowledged Magnus as he dropped his jacket and kicked off his boots. Plodding directly into the shower, he firmly closed the door behind him.

  
_Message received—Magnus not welcome_. Magnus thought to himself as he watched his boyfriend disappear down the hall. But Magnus shrugged and got up from the couch where he had been waiting for Alec. Putting down the book he used to pass the time between putting their boys to bed and Alec’s return from hunting, Magnus headed to bed. Alec’s mad moods weren’t common, but sometimes missing putting the boys to sleep and the daily grind of demon threats got to him and he needed a little space.

  
When Alec reappeared, now freshly showered and free of smelly demon-goo, he gave Magnus a little smile and climbed into bed, pulling Magnus firmly against his chest. Magnus smiled to himself—happy to be the little spoon to his grumpy, already asleep Shadowhunter.

  
But just as he was about to drift off—warm and surrounded by his silky sheets, fluffy pillows and sculpted chest—Alec started to whisper in his ear. A little startled, Magnus started to respond until he realized that Alec was still asleep. So instead, he settled in to listen, hoping for something silly to tease the other man with in the morning.

  
“Mags…not working…it just doesn’t feel right…can’t do this…Izzy, no, I can’t do this anymore…it’s Magnus…not perfect…” After a few minutes, Alec quieted again.

  
Magnus grew cold as he listened to the soft sounds. No, he knew Alec loved him and they were happy. The two men and their sons were the tight family unit that Alec and he had always desired and never hoped to have. Unconscious sentence fragments did not indicate a problem in their relationship and, eventually, Magnus fell asleep, secure in his feelings.

  
\--------------

  
After a week of the nightly whisperings though, Magnus was starting to lose his cool. It didn’t help that Alec seemed to be avoiding Magnus—he was around a lot, helping with the boys, making breakfast and basically being the wonderful man he always was—but he was avoiding alone time with Magnus. No adult one on one conversations and even avoiding the rare sexy-time opportunities they had between their duties and their children.

  
Logically, Magnus knew there was a rational explanation. Alec was not leaving him. But logical and rational Magnus was long gone—too many of those hateful whisperings causing him to lose sleep. Even more, making him curse Alec’s cuddly nature, since Alec’s lips often rested just near his ears, letting the words fall into his ears like poison with no escape. So, yes, rational Magnus was gone and emotional Magnus was firmly in control. It was making him snappy, weepy, and exhausted. He tried to hide it from the boys, but he knew he was acting cold toward Alec.

  
He was heading toward a breaking point, but since Alec was avoiding private conversations, he was forced to wait for a better time to talk, especially without tiny ears overhearing.

  
\--------------

**Alec POV**

  
Magnus was glaring at him. Glaring at him! Over their sons’ heads and cereal bowls. Why?! Alec sent him a confused and questioning look, but Magnus just turned back to the fridge.

  
Alec knew these last weeks had been weird. It was his fault. He was more stressed than he could remember since before he came out—kissing Mags before everyone in the Hall of Accords. He was trying to make a plan and keep it a secret (and have you met his family?!—impossible!) and get the perfect ring and keep all his duties up to date so that he could get all of Saturday off. It was too much and when he couldn’t find the right ring by the fourth store, he finally broke and swore Izzy to secrecy before asking for her help.

  
She was a lifesaver and last week he finally found the ring. It was perfect—simple, silver, shiny, and had small blue stones set into the band. But of course, now he had something new to worry about—Magnus or one of the boys finding it. And as much as he loved his children, they were tiny menaces and could NOT keep secrets. So he was keeping it on his person, even when showering (now with a closed door) and dammit, he missed sexy shower times! But he knew he couldn’t keep a secret from Magnus and he was so excited to propose (when he actually allowed to think about that part instead of just focusing on all the planning stress), that he was avoiding his boyfriend so that he didn’t just blurt it out.

  
When they decided to adopt Max, Magnus had told him that no one had ever wanted to marry him, but that he also wasn’t willing to rush into anything. He wanted their marriage to be in gold—for both of them. And now they’d been together over five years, had two amazing children, and the Clave had even changed their laws—but the marriage conversation hadn’t come up again. So, Alec decided he needed to take control. He wanted Magnus, would always want him. He wanted the rings, the ceremony, and the whole deal. He even wanted the big party afterward for Magnus. He just needed the perfect plan. He had nearly everything ready, but he and Izzy were still arguing about the perfect restaurant—either their favorite Italian place or the Ethiopian restaurant from their first date. It had to be perfect, because it was for Magnus.

  
But now, Alec was confused, because Magnus was clearly mad, but not talking to him. He needed to get to the bottom of this, especially because it was only two days to “Proposal Day.”  
But not right now, right now it was time to get the boys ready and get to the Institute.


	2. Fight It Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, I don't own these characters. They belong to Cassandra Claire and I'm just taking them for a spin based on her wonderful creation.

When the boys were finally putting on their shoes, Alec and Magnus were alone in the kitchen.  Alec reached for Magnus, who was facing away from him, but as he touched the older man’s bicep, Magnus stiffened and pulled away from the light touch.

 “Magnus?  Mags, what’s wrong?” Alec couldn’t believe Mags pulled away from him—it was so out of character.  They seemed to be fighting, but Alec for the life of him, couldn’t figure out why.  “Mags, please talk to me.”

 “Leave me alone, Alexander!”

 “No, I won’t just let you stand there…are you crying?!”

 Magnus sniffed and stiffened even more. “No!”

“Clearly, you—“

“Dad! Papa!  We’re ready!!!”  Max and Raphael came running back into the living room and Alec made a quick decision, pulling out his phone and sending a quick text.  “Boys, there’s been a little change of plans.  You’re going to hand with Auntie Izzy this morning, okay?”

“Ok!”

“Magnus, open a portal please.”  Magnus nodded, still lacking his usual fluid grace.  When the purple edges of the portal solidified, they could see Izzy on the front steps of the Institute looking confused, but following Alec’s texted request.

“Bye boys,” Alec and Magnus kissed the boys goodbye and sent them through.  Magnus held the portal open though, looking at their retreating backs and Izzy’s concerned face.

“Close the portal Mags.” 

Magnus continued to delay—not caring about the waste of magic—only wanting to delay the coming conversation.  He had wanted Alec to talk to him, but now he was terrified.

“We need to talk.”

Finally Magnus exploded. “Yes! Clearly we do Alec! What is your problem?!  _This doesn’t feel right? You can’t do this anymore._ What, Alec?!  Our family, our life, me?  Am I not enough for you anymore?”  Magnus had been shouting, but at that last sentence his voice dropped to a near whimper—a broken sound hardly more than a whisper.

Alec was speechless.  He couldn’t even collect his thoughts.  NOT want Magnus?  NOT want their sons?  Their life?  He was NOTHING without them! 

He was so shocked that he couldn’t take Magnus, now openly weeping, into his arms.  He couldn’t find the words to comfort the love of his life.  His face must have revealed his shock though, because Magnus snapped: “Say something Alec!”

Alec’s jaw snapped shut and he blinked.  Twice.

“Why would you think those things Magnus?”  Alec tried to keep his voice level, but he was worried it came out as cold.

“Don’t play with me Alec. You’ve been talking in your sleep.  For days now—that _this doesn’t feel right.  It’s Magnus.  I can’t do this._ ”  Magnus mimicked Alec’s mumbled words.

Alec couldn’t breathe.  He would NEVER say that…wait.  “Are you saying that I was talking in my sleep and you think I want out of our life together?!” Alec went confused to pretty damn pissed in a few seconds.  “Are you fucking kidding me Magnus?! After EVERYTHING we’ve been though?!”  He stopped, took a few deep breaths and realized Magnus was still crying—not angry at being yelled out.  _Uh oh—_ Magnus was deeply passionate, yelling was met with yelling, but CRYING—that was a sure sign that emotional Magnus, not rational Magnus was in control.

They stood, silent for a few minutes, both trying to figure out what to say to reach the other.  Finally, Alec moved toward Magnus and took his hands.  Magnus pulled his hands down and away, but Alec just ran his hands up his arms to his shoulders which were slumped dejectedly. 

“Mags, baby, please tell me exactly what I said.”  Magnus’ head came up and he glared at Alec. “Please Mags.”

“Fine! You said things like: _not working…it just doesn’t feel right…can’t do this…Izzy, no, I can’t do this anymore…it’s Magnus…not perfect_.”

“That’s exactly what I said?” Alec looked thoughtful and then, the corner of his mouth quirked up in a grin.

“Don’t laugh at me, Alec!”

“No no no, I’m not Mags, I swear.”

“Then why the smile?”  Alec sighed deeply and said goodbye to his careful Saturday plans.  “Mags, let me tell you a story, okay?  And once I’m done, you can tell me if you understand.  Okay?”

“…this better be a short story Alexander.”

Alec couldn’t help another little grin at the use of his full name, especially as Magnus’ shoulders had relaxed a little under his hands.

“First, I need you to know how much I love you and our children.  Before I met you, I never even dreamed I could be this happy.  Yes, we’ve had our problems, but I never thought I’d get to love anyone, let alone with the intensity that you inspire in me.  And kids?  At best, I’d get to be an uncle for Jace and Izzy’s families.  I know your past made you hesitant with your trust, but we’ve been together for years now and I love you more now than ever.  That will never change and my love for you will never stop growing.”  When Alec took a breath, Magnus put his hands on Alec’s, still resting on his own shoulders.  Briefly lost in his boyfriend’s blue eyes and the love filling them, Magnus pressed a kiss to his lips.  Alec eventually pulled back and took a deep breath—looking nervous.

“Okay, so about a month ago, I realized how long we’ve been together and how much has changed since I met you.  So I wanted to do something finally to show you how much we mean to me—you, and me, and our boys.  But, well, I suck at his stuff and I wasn’t getting anywhere.  So, I finally asked Izzy for help.  BUT you know Iz.  She had “ideas.”  And she has been seriously stressing me out even more, especially this last week.  I wanted everything to be perfect for you Mags.  I think that’s what I was saying in my sleep, because I’ve been rejecting Izzy’s plans all week-apparently even in my sleep, although a bit jumbled.  Literally I’ve been saying “this plan doesn’t feel right.  I can’t do this without it being perfect because it’s for Magnus.  It’s Magnus, he deserves perfect.”  Sound familiar?”

Magnus had started to look more and more hopeful, but at that last bit, he flushed.  Rational Magnus was starting to reappear and he was feeling bad about his outburst and not just talking to Alec.

“Love, hey, it’s okay.”  Alec tilted Magnus’ face back to his and held his eyes.  “Look at me—story’s almost over.”  He took another breath.  “Everything is planned for Saturday—not that it’s going to be a surprise anymore—“

“Wait!  If you’re not leaving, why have you been so shut off?  We have barely talked or touched or kissing in over a week!”

“Oh! ….um…yeah….”  Aaaaaand stuttering, blushing Alec was back.  Magnus grinned—he still wasn’t sure what was going on, but he knew it couldn’t be too bad if Alec was so flustered now.  When Alec finally met his eyes, they were now filled with desire and hotter than moments before.  Without warning, he crushed his lips to Magnus’.  Magnus was shocked for a minute, but then threw himself into the kiss.  Seconds later, he back slammed into the wall, with Alec pressed firmly to his front.  Eventually he was able to pull his lips away.

“Alexander, as much as I love this, what is going on?!  You’re starting to give me emotional whiplash!”

Alec pressed his forehead to Magnus’ and tried to slow his breathing.  After a few seconds, he said, “I can’t keep anything from you Mags and I needed to stay in control.  You make me lose control.”

With that not vague—at all—admission, he started to kiss Magnus again and when he moved down his jaw and neck, Magnus managed to say, “in control about what?”  But was nearly derailed again as Alec nipped the skin on his neck and then laved it with his tongue.

Against his skin, Alec said, “Mags, I didn’t want to propose during sex” and continued to kiss his neck.

“Oh, ok---WHAT!?”  Magnus pressed hard against Alec’s chest, pushing him away hard, but needing him to back up and look into his face.

Alec realized what he said, the second after it was too late.  He couldn’t pull the words back in time and now he was staring into Magnus’ shocked face with his lover’s hands still pressed into his chest.

Letting out a groan, he dropped his head and took his hands from Magnus’ waist in order to cover his face.  Finally, Alec looked at Magnus again, but the warlock was still in shock—staring straight at Alec.

“See!  This is what I meant!  When I kiss you, I forget my carefully laid plans!”  He reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring.  At that, Magnus seemed to snap back.  Kind of.  He stared at the ring, now sitting in Alec’s palm, then looked at Alec, then back to the ring.  It was almost comical.

“Okay, well, I was going to ask you on Saturday at dinner—I made reservations…well two actually…and got a babysitter.  I mean its Jace, but I’m sure it’ll be fine, plus Iz can be backup and Clary can mostly control him—“

“Alexander!”  Magnus interrupted what was admittedly becoming a nervous ramble.

“Yes?”

“Yes, Alexander, YES! Now give me my ring!” Magnus put out his hand with a grabby motion and Alec started briefly, but then threw his head back and laughed—deeply and soul-felt.  Who needed a perfect plan, when you had a perfect love?

Magnus’ smile as Alec slid the ring on his finger was full of wonder and joy and so beautiful.  There was nothing to do but to seal their engagement with a kiss.


End file.
